My Nigerian penfriend

(Dopisovanje z mojim nesojenim stanodajalcem je potekalo v angleščini, tako da celoten zapis in razlago puščam v originalu.)

There is a huge hype in Slovenia right now about young people leaving the country in search of greener pastures. After a year of traveling the last thing I wanted to do is continue my life in Ljubljana where I had left it in Fall 2011, so moving to another country even if it’s for work reasons seemed like a continuation of my vagabonding. It’s easier to sit in a cubicle if you feel like you’re still on the road. Plus all the cool kids are doing it.

One pesky task before our move to Frankfurt was finding an apartment. Quite a challenge if you’re 1000km away. My German friends told me it can be difficult to find a furnished apartment without committing for a longer period which kind of goes against the basics of vagabonding  so I was a bit concerned. I hit some real-estate websites and was less than impressed to see what was on offer, but then I stumbled upon a nice little apartment in the centre of town. Furnished, without roommates for only 450€ per month. Almost too good to be true.

I contacted the owner and thought his English was a bit odd for someone claiming to be working in the UK, he did say he’s originally from Belgium so I didn’t think much of it. However, the pictures of the apartment he had send me had different windows in every room and none of the window frames matched what I could see on google street view at the address he gave me. When he said he will send me the keys via DHL once I transfer him the money it was pretty obvious that I have gotten myself a Nigerian pen-friend. I wouldn’t mind sending him the money, but I am still waiting for Prince Abdulah Washamirenid to get back to me with my share of his inheritance.

By this point of our correspondence he explained how he inherited the apartment in Frankfurt but is now working in England and will somehow deliver the keys to me. From the pictures of the apartment he sent me I couldn’t see the shower, so this is where we come in.

from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date: Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 10:32 AM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Hello Muller,
could you give me some more information please? Is the shower separate from the bathtub, or is the showerhead somewhere else. Also, could you send me a link to google maps to where the apartment is located? I can’t seem to find the number 4 Neue Rothofstraße.
What kind of mode of money transfer did you have in mind? Will you give me your bank account number?
Regards,
Marko
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from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 11:22 AM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Hello Marko,
Thanks for getting back to me, yes there is shower room before the bathtub, you can  not see the apartment through the google map because the large bulding has already cover it also the payment will be paid directly to my account .Do get back to me with the below informations
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from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:  Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 11:36 AM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Which new building? Could you please circle the apartment on the attached map and send it back to me?
Cheers,
Marko
———————————————————————

from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 12:38 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

this is the building    https://maps.google.com.ng/maps?hl=en&tab=wl
you can see it very well from google map..
waiting to hear from you with the details for the rental contract.
Regards

<Notice the Nigerian domain in google maps link. >
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from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:  Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 12:56 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Thank you for clearing that. My information is as follows:
Your full name: Marko Vecko
Your full Current address: Hubadova 8 Ljubljana
Nationality: Slovenian
Passport id: PB00736929
Date of birth: 15.2.1981
Move in date and out: 10.11.2012 to 31.1.2012
Phone number:
Mobile Number: +38656363221
Please send me a scanned copy of your passport or ID along with the contract.
Thank you,
Marko
———————————————————————

from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 1:38 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Hello
Thanks for your email,Attached is the signed contract, kindly print it out, sign it, scan it, email it back to me and after that i will give you my payment information to forward your payment into my account first month rent and security deposit and Once your payment is reflect in my account i will post the keys to you via DHL courier service and email you the shipping code for you to know when the keys will be deliver to you. It is just 1-2 days delivery for you to have your keys with you before moving into my apartment.
waiting to hear from you with the rental contract.
Regards
Muller
———————————————————————

from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:  Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 12:54 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Dear Muller,
I have forgot to tell you something that I hope will not be a problem. I play drums in a metal band and I often practice at home. My lawyer has informed me that I have to tell you this, otherwise I might have legal issues. Do you thing the neighbors would be ok with our practice sessions?
Please let me know soon, because I have to find a different apartment if this is not ok.
Kind regards,
Marko
———————————————————————

from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 1:58 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Thanks for getting back to me,I really love it as you explain to me before signing the contract..praticing at home doenst mean anything okay…am okay with that..I will be waiting to hear from you with the signed contract as soon as possiblem
Regards
———————————————————————

from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:   Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 2:08 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

That is great to hear! My satanic metal band would be really disappointed if we couldn’t practice in the apartment. Sometimes before concerts we practice the entire night and then before we finish we sacrifice a chicken to our Dark Lord. Our guitarist Lucas usually insist on painting pentagrams on the walls with chicken blood, but I assure you we would only do this in the bathroom where it is easily cleaned.
On an unrelated subject: is there a market close to the apartment where one can buy livestock?
I am still waiting for my lawyer to check out all the details. Would it be possible to pay three months rent in advance so I don’t have to pay bank charges every month?
Kind regards,
Marko
———————————————————————

from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 2:31 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Hello Marko,
Thanks for getting back to me, i will be waiting to hear from you
with the signed contract.
Regards
———————————————————————

from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:   Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 3:00 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Dear Muller,
I have attached the signed contract. I hope we can now proceed with the payment and sending of the keys. I once saw in star trek that things can be teleported instead of send by DHL. Is this technology already available in England? We don’t have it yet, but then again, we usually don’t use DHL either. Last week my brother wanted to send me some grain from his farm and he had to use a donkey. It was quite handy, though, since we played a concert later that night and were out of chickens.
Let me know your account number where I can send you the money.
Best wishes,
Marko
———————————————————————

from: S Muller
to: marko vecko
date: Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 3:18 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Hello Marko,
Thanks for getting back to me with the signed contract,here is my bank
details for your payment:
BANK NAME                     Barclays Bank
Account Name                  Muller Sundaram Raymond
ACCOUNT NUMBER           80154016
SORT CODE                      20-61-51
SWIFT/BIC                        BARCGB22
IBAN NUMBER                   GB07BARC20615180154016
I shall be waiting for the scan copy of the payment receipt by your bank.
———————————————————————

from: marko vecko
to: S Muller
date:   Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 4:24 PM
subject: Re: Frankfurt apartment

Dear Muller,
Thank you for the account number. My lawyer will contact the Barclay bank and make sure everything is in order.
I was thinking about your kind offer of seeing the apartment first from the outside. I would very much like to do this as this is all the information I need about a place before I move in. The problem is that I am in Slovenia at the moment and need to go to Frankfurt first and I don’t have enough money to do that yet. I will get my first pay for my work on November 15th. So I would like to ask you if it would be possible for you to send me 160€ for the train ticket for me to see the apartment from the outside and on the 15th of November I will pay you back the 160€ for the train. To say thank you for lending me the money, I am willing to pay you two month’s rent and security deposit instead of just one month, so I will send you 160€ + 500€ deposit + 800€ for 2 month rent. All together I will send you 1460€. Can you help me with the train ticket?
Thank you in advance,
Marko

<I am still waiting for my money transfer.>

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2 odgovorov v “My Nigerian penfriend”

  1. Primož pravi:
      

    Pa kje jih jemlješ…
    LP

  2. Marko pravi:
      

    Tegale mandeljca sem našel na Craigs List :)

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